she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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