She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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