I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize