You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize