This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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