Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize