i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize