...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize