Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize