i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize