u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize