You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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