I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize