One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize