dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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