i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My vagina is officially offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize