Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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