Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize