Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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