My brain says no but my pants say off.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize