I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
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