I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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