the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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