I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize