it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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