i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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