If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my cat just said my name.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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