oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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