I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
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he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
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Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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