i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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