i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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