I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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