The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize