There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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