Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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