Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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