look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
sex in a hospital.. check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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