it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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