I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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