I looked at my own cervix.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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