I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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