omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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