Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize