i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
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