and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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