plz talk dirty to me
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
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i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
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YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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