Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
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the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
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He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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