would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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