i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize