You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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